I Hate Fireworks!

Fireworks? Bah humbug! I love the 4th of July--cookouts, cocktails, patriotism, etc. However, I am convinced that fireworks are overrated! Think back to the last time you went to a fireworks show and be completely honest: was it worth the hassle?

You're sitting by the pool or lounging on the patio, having a great time. Then you prematurely end your fun in order to "get a good spot" for the fireworks. Get a good spot?!? You can see fireworks from MILES away! Yet, almost without fail, we cue up like kids in the soup line in a Dickens novel. And then we wait. Crying kids. Port-o-potties. Hairy men in tank tops. Old men with the socks pulled up to their knees. Horrid shirts with eagles and American flag prints. Drunk frat guys. Homeless people who, inexplicably, have sparklers. Nowhere to park. Your flip-flopped feet have been stepped on six times.

All of that annoyance, and then here comes the show! You've got to admit that 85% of a fireworks display is lackluster. We wait and wait to waste 20 minutes watching the puny munitions before the smashing finale. I want 20 minutes of finale. I want a finale the length of Grateful Dead song. I want the equivalent of War & Peace in screaming rockets.

The fireworks aftermath is the worst part! The heat and the stickiness of sweaty bodies is amplified by the sulfery smell of gun powder and the haze of gray smoke. (It does, however, mask the smell of that bum with the sparkler.) All of those people who trickled in to get that phantom spot that is somehow better than the others all depart at exactly the same moment, as no one wishes to linger in the fumes. Gridlock traffic, sardine-like conditions on the trains. Drunk frat boy just vomitted. Kids, now hungry and ears-a-ringing from the spectacle, ratchet up their screams. Nightmare.

And have you ever noticed how everyone claims to have the "largest" fireworks display? Could we get the Pew Center to quantify this and put these falsities to rest? Here in Atlanta, the Lenox Mall show calls itself the "largest in the Southeast." Meanwhile, downtown, Centinniel Park dubs its diplay "Atlanta's biggest." How in the Hell is that possible?

Despite my cynicism, I've found the solution. The best, most enjoyable fireworks session I've ever experienced was on the roof on an apartment building. Me, a plastic beach chair, and a cold beer. No crowds, no port-o-lets, no stench, no parking. The point is, you don't have to go to the heart of the maelstrom; again, fireworks can be seen from miles away! Plus, from your high perch on a clear night, you can watch multiple shows simultaneosly. Maybe then we finally figure out which show is the biggest. Happy 4th, everyone!

Dating Don't #137: Craig's List

If we've said it once, we've said it a hundred times: when it comes to dating services, there is no such thing as a free lunch. You can brave the bar scene and be set up with friends of friends for free, but membership fees are, believe it or not, a good thing. Need proof? Browse through the personals on Craig's List.

You might think: "Hmm, it's free. There are tons of nice people out there. What's the harm in looking?" Let's dispel this myth in short order, shall we? He are some of the highlight's from today's Atlanta listings:

• "I've always entertained this fantasy of meeting a stranger and making love all day [...] Please be sane, attractive, D&D free, with a good imagination, and you should like cheap Chinese food and red wine :)"


• "Are you the kind of lady that has the personality needed to enjoy earning $150.00 and up giving a middle aged man a spanking?"


• "In town for a few days would like to meet a girl lactating thats interested in letting me breastfeed from her. We can talk about compensating you for your time."

Okay, so men have cornered the market on creepy, right? The oddball women are all over CL, too.

• "Can you be my Daddy?"
  
• "I do have a lazy eye if you have a problem with that then move on."


• "I have a special fascination with religious play and ageplay.

The old saying holds true--different strokes for different folks. That being said, you have to wade through hundreds of these to find the legitimate people on Craig's List. Then, when you've found someone promising, you're likely to be directed to a porn site or some scam. This is why Eight at Eight has been in business for ten years. You deal with real, carbon-based, oxygen-breathing people. You can sense the sparks if there are any. You can't hide behind photoshopped pictures and you can't spout your fantasies out as if you were writing out your grocery list. Eight at Eight is for smart, successful people who can afford the option to allow someone to weed out the, er, more unusual singles out there. Perhaps, though, there is a market out there for a B&D/S&M dating service? Dominate at Eight, anyone?

Inside the Odd Minds of Men

While flipping channels the other night, I came across a movie that I've seen a couple of times and found it to be farily amusing. The movie is High Fidelity, the John Cusack comedy from 2000 about an unlucky-in-love pushing-40 record store clerk in Chicago. I gave it a longer look this time because Justin, our communications guy, assures me it is one of the more accurate depictions of the male psyche ever captured on film (at least as it pertains to dating and relationships).

I must say, I think he's on to something. (For those of you who haven't seen it, stop reading now). Here are some of the nuggets of reality that one can find in the movie.

1) When Cusack's girlfriend leaves him to move in with another man, one of his first questions is if the sex is better with the new guy or him. Cusack's heart is broken, but his ego may have suffered the most damage.

2) When his lovelorn angst begins to overwhelm him, our hero seeks out a new conquest, a hipster bar singer (Lisa Bonet, as in Cosby Show Lisa Bonet!). Cusack has a great time with her, even spends the night, but the moment he bolts for the door, he immediately turns his attention back to the girlfriend who burned him. Guys, it seems, aren't always thinking about sex. Sex is a distraction!

3) Cusack is lying in bed, having sweat-filled nightmares about his ex and her new lover. In his brain, she is like a porn star with an insatiable sexual appetite. She was driven into the arms of another man because he couldn't meet her requirements as a partner. Now, it is pretty clear throughout the rest of the movie that his ex is a pretty normal woman who, up until the start of the film, had accepted Cusack for who he was. It seems unlikely that after years together she would cut and leave on sex alone. But, in the male mind, its perfectly reasonable!

So High Fidelity is a pretty accurate summation of that part of the male internal monologue we so rarely get to hear. It is a funny film, even touching in some instances, but what really stands out in my mind is how the male protagonist is a wounded, scared little boy when it comes to love. He's frightened and unsure of himself and absolutely dependent on his girlfriend for reassurance and comfort. Maybe some of us ladies should take a few notes and realize the male psyche is more fragile than we might think.

Fly on the wall for a Blind Date

Blind dates are awkward enough, but can you imagine having a photographer follow you and your running commentary printed for thousands to see? The Washington Post publishes their always funny Date Lab, where they set up singles for dates and then allow them to come clean about their evening out to the reading public. Think: the Blind Date tv show without the fake breasts and hot tubs).

The results, in this case, were not so great. Sample quote: "you guys sucks at matchmaking." Guess the Post should just leave it to the pros, huh?

Where are all of the single people?

We get this question a lot. "Where are all of the attractive single men?" or "Why can't I find any good singles in [insert city here]?" We frequently see studies (such as this on from Forbes) that tell you which cities are the best to be single that are based on a multitude of factors ranging from median income, education level, health statistics, etc.

But where can one find the greatest concentration of singles, regardless of the criteria. I'm talking that mainstay of Male Dating Logic: the RATIO! The Interactive Singles Map provides us with some answers. At the top of the map is a sliding scale that you can manipulate to determine which cities have the most favorible guy:girl ratio. As you will soon see, the numbers are astonishing.

For instance, the #1 city to be single in America, according to Forbes, is Atlanta. I ran the numbers for ages 25-44 for this city and found that there are, on average, 7 more single men per 1000 people than women. That's not statistically significant. However, the numbers begin to skew more as move through the Forbes' Top 10. Here are some surprising ones:

Dallas: 34 more men than women per 1000 people.

Los Angeles: 41 more men

Seattle: 41 more men

Orlando: 38 more men

Madison, Wisconsin: 51 more men!

So, the numbers show that the ladies have, by and large, better odds than men. Which cities form the flipside of the coin, displaying a significantly higher female:male ratio? Only a few: Fayeteville, NC; Kileen, TX; and Brownsville, TX.

The news, clearly, is not good for men. It gets worse, though. Take the right side of the slider at the top of the map and push it to the right. Note how all of the those blue bubbles begin to shrink and then large portions of the country show pink bubbles in places that once had none. It's like time-lapse photography of a plant budding! This map, then, is a double-whammy for men. Not only are you odds worse than your female counterparts, but you are also reminded of you eminent mortality. Hey, guys: you're not just single, you're close to death!

Can a recession actuall improve the quality of our lives?

A couple of months ago, Time ran a lenthy article entitled "The End of Excess," which suggests that the recession isn't such a bad thing after all. It serves to check the greed and materialism of our society and bring our conception of wealth and happiness into the more moderate portion of the spectrum. Could this be true?

I don't mean to say that we should whistle in the unemployment line and toss away our tanking 401k statements without a care. As a business owner and friend to many who have been affected, I am well aware of the negative impact of the the sliding economy of our homes, our relationships, our wealth. However, the Time piece spurred a line of thought that might be worth pursuing.

One of the alternatives to travel that has emerged in the wake of the economy is the notion of the "staycation," or, put another way, staying close to home for leisure trips. Aside from the savings, there is an added benefit to that. I would wager a guess that few of us out there have thoroughly explored our cities--their museums, their parks, the hole-in-the-wall eateries, the numerous oddball things to do that most of us never try. It has been said that people who take these "staycations" leave with a greater appreciation for the local and near-by. We, as a culture, are addicted to the glitzy and new. Maybe its time we have some new experiences by peeking around a corner we've never bothered exploring.

Similarly, I've attended a lot more small gatherings and dinners with friends lately. Instead of a concert or a movie, we're preparing meals together and dusting off the Monopoly board. These activities don't seem like much, but, in a very real way, they bring our friends closer together. Often, we get stuck in the rut of routine and passivity. The recession has helped me interact with those closest to me more than in the past.

As the owner of a dating service, I'm not suggesting you all cancel your memberships and make s'mores over fire buckets in alleyways. In fact, I think the recession may prove the benefit of our service in that it brings people together. When the chips are down, we need one another in a very real way. We are, at last, social creatures. Perhaps the slide in the market serves to reiterate what is really important. Perhaps, in the oddest of ways, there is an upside to a downturn.

Memorial Day Plans?

Here we sit, one week away from Memorial Day. If you haven't made travel plans, you are likely facing that conundrum of what to do for the holiday. Do you party it up on Saturday night and relax away the remaining long weekend? Or, do you host a pool party on Sunday afternoon? Brunch on Monday? Take your dog for a run and then play it by ear?

We're here to provide some alternate suggestions--a few traditional, a few oddballs.

1) Drive-in Movie:

The drive-in movie theatre is a dying breed; however, quite a few remain around the country. If you've never been, you should check one out! Most allow you to bring in your own food, so grab a few friends, a bottle of wine, and catch a double-feature.

2) Adult Pic-nic

It troubles me when people go to a fast food joint, grab a burger, and then sit down in a park and call it a pic-nic. A pic-nic requires a little more thought than that. We fully endorse amping it up a notch or two beyond bologna and PB&J's. For instance, go by your local market or deli and get a 1/4 lb. of prosciutto, a few slices of outstanding salami, and a honeydew melon. Other winning bets include cucumber slices, hummus, and crusty bread. Ice down your favorite warm weather beverage (iced tea, beer, soda, whatever) and have one of those lazy, low-key holidays.

3) Volunteer

Find your local homeless shelter, join a 5-K charity run, or offer to help clean up a nearby park. We often say that we wish we had more time for volunteer work. Well, a day-off qualifies!

4) Pub Crawl (for the wild ones out there)
Pick a neighborhood with lots of bars and clubs. Next, select a rendez-vous for your friends and have a drink there. When that drink is done, move on to the next closest place. This is particularly fun when you try out new neighborhoods and bars you might not typically visit. Plus, its a great way to break out of that rut you've been stuck in where you frequent the same three places repeatedly.

5) Adventure tour

Almost all major cities have companies that plan excursions. Go for a hike, a bike ride, kayaking, or base jumping... whatever floats your boat. Other options: skydiving, frisbee golf, walking tour of the city.

6) Block/Building Party

Talk to your neighbors and see which of them are sticking around for the holiday weekend. Plan a potluck dinner and tell everyone to bring some folding chairs and candles and mingle with your neighbors. Its a great way to socialize with the people in your building or your neighbors down the street.

Think outside the box, try something new, experiment, spread your wings... Whatever you end up doing, be sure to enjoy yourself, be safe, leave it better than you found it, and, most importantly, be thankful for your friends, family, and those who've lost their lives protecting and defending.

Best wishes for a fun and fabulous Memorial Day,

Eight at Eight Dinner Club